Grading Hell

I love teaching college.  I really do.  If I could just lecture and do research, I would be in heaven.  However, as I am not lofty enough to have teaching assistants working under me, I am forced to deal with the pit of despair I refer to as "Grading Hell."  Also, as I work at two community colleges, the quality of the students' works are more along the lines of high school.

Who am I kidding?  I sometimes wonder how these kids even graduated high school.  My 15 year old nephew writes better than a lot of my students.

Don't get me wrong.  I like most of my students and I get some diamonds in the rough, but I also get  a lot of the "my parents are making me go to college and I don't wanna be here" types.  Therefore, what they hand in is usually crap.

That is bad enough.

What makes it all worse?  I am teaching only Intro classes this semester.  All my sections are the exact same classes with the exact same assignments.  This means I have 120+ versions of the same fucking paper.   This makes me want to shoot myself.  It really does.  At the beginning I thought it would be easiest as my health hasn't been the best lately and this would only be one prep straight across the board.  What the fuck was I thinking?

I have tried a number of strategies to make this less painful.  First, I tried to just grade the assignments by grading one assignment at a time.  After 120+ versions of the same crap, I started banging my head against the desk.

Now, I am working by class instead of assignment.  At least this way I notice patterns with certain students more easily, including the one kid who plagiarized 90% of his papers.  It also helps me notice which kids put in half-assed efforts.  Guys? I'm giving you super easy assignments like watching people.  How can you fuck that up?  And yet, they do.

And yes, I am procrastinating.  I am very far behind in grading--as usual--and am looking at 12 stacks of papers to grade.  Thankfully they are all online rather than hard copies.  At least this way I don't have to look at the Leaning Tower O' Doom, as I used to call the physical papers that would pile on my desk waiting to be graded.

I'm just wondering if I should start drinking now or wait until I get the inevitable headache from the half-ass-ery that I will see in their writing.  Oh wait.  I don't drink.  Damn.

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